You know those days when everything seems to go wrong? Yes, mother also has these. You raise with the pipe bursting at the kitchen sink, step (and shred) that toy that your child loves, but who insists on leaving in the middle of the house, catch a cold as five years ago would not start, fight with your best friend, and your car to the middle of the street when you’re coming home. In the midst of all this, the child begins to cry wildly (because of course he feels that you are nervous, uncomfortable, and do not know how to deal with his mother like that – so its most primitive reaction is to burst into tears). And if you thought there was still a small part of you lady of the situation, that’s you sure you want to open a hole in the ground, right in front, to you goes south and come back three days later.
Everyone has days like that, it’s true. But when it is with the mother, I must say that ends up being a rotten day for the whole family. Because deep down we are, there, balancing the plates so that the rest of the routine runs smoothly. And when we stumble, they go all the dishes to the floor at once! You look at that mess and wonder: where do I start? What caught first? Usually you think the first son – if he’s okay, until the thing has way. Then go picking one by one, with the good will of those who are around (thankfully always appears an angel) to put everything in order again (not always fast – can take days, weeks, months or even years ).
Of course these times you snake. Think how may have left stumble, if you are responsible for so much. Come to blame: for failing to account for having made people around him suffer too (even when it’s just a little). After all, you’re a mother, dammit! It’s like if you had no right to make mistakes, because you have to take care of others. You think, why I did not kill chest and decided alone? Why was not I strong enough?
The answer is: because you are human. And misses, misses it. And drop the ball, and cries hidden (or in front of everybody the same), and wants to escape, but knows he can not. Then when you think about quitting when that feeling that will not give bill comes, you remember everything that lived up there. Do you think the contractions that seemed to take all his air (but still you kept breathing), you think of all the nights did not sleep (and lack of sleep you also did not die), you think of all those who have had their wills to be left behind when you became a mother (and this act of surrender also hurts or does not hurt? And did you overcome!).
And if you went through all this and still there is not a rotten day that gets you down. You wipe the tears, and go ahead. Because, as my mother would say, “let’s move, which comes after us.” And these people, in this case, is small and needs you to be well. And so you will, because tomorrow is another day.
Makeup is one of the areas of cosmetics that raises more insecurities. So we put the international maquilhadoras Hiromi Inoko and Laura Mohberg, the MakeUp Team Clinique, the most frequently asked questions we receive the magazine. Used to make up actresses, models, singers and other famous, they dominate like no one the art of make-up and all your tricks. And being women also maquilham themselves, they know what works in practice. These are tricks that they share with you, exclusively.
What products should I always bring with me?
Laura: Those who tend to blur throughout the day: blush, lipstick, lip-gloss and corrector. If the blush is gel can also use it on the lips. Regarding the correction, select the type of formulation you prefer and apply it lightly in the areas you want to hide.
Hiromi: Never leave home without corrector, compact and lip-gloss. With these three products can maintain the fresh look of your makeup throughout the day.
How to apply the mascara for a natural effect and without lumps?
Laura: If your mascara makes clumps, may be old or dry and should replace it. When applying, start as close to the root of the lashes and go climbing with a lateral reciprocating movement, to the top. Allow to dry and apply another layer, if necessary. Following each application separate the lashes with a pentinho. To prevent esborrate, apply translucent powder on the eyelids. Hiromi: It’s also a good idea to clean the excess mask brush, passing it on a tissue before applying.
How can I hide dark circles and puffiness under the eyes?
Laura: Using a broker with the right formu-lation. The darker the dark circles, more opaque should be the corrector, which I like to get through overlapping thin layers. Pick it two shades lighter than your foundation, apply with a small brush on the lookout and pales demarcation zone with the base. If you have puffiness, prevention is the best medicine: get enough sleep, do exercise to stimulate circulation and avoid foods with preservatives, hormones and artificial ingredients. Apply the correction only in the dark area below the crop, bearing in mind that the light and dark colors stress kick.
Hiromi: Start by applying a moisturizing cream for the eye contour, to help keep the creaminess Corrector during application. Use small amounts and pales with light pats, only where it is necessary, overlapping to dark disappear. For best results, the broker should always be a shade lighter than the base.
What should I apply first, the base or the concealer?
Hiromi: I like to first apply the correction in dark circles, spots and stains, and then apply the base which is the secret to create a perfect complexion.
How do I know which is the right base for me?
Laura: Select three bases whose tone you look approximate your skin and apply a trace of each of them in the chin curve. Note to natural light: a base that seems to disappear is right for you. If your complexion is dark olive, choose a pink base. If your skin is very pink, prefers a more yellowish tone. If your skin tone change throughout the year, you should update the color of the base and also possibly its texture: if your skin becomes drier in the winter, you can switch to a more creamy and moisturizing base, for example.
How should I apply the base to stay natural and invisible?
Laura: Texture depends. If it is liquid, use a brush itself. For a base cream, prefer a damp sponge that will absorb excess product and keep it from getting too visible. If the base is cream-powder, use a dry or damp sponge. But when preparing the skin with a moisturizer or a pre-basis.
Hiromi: You can use your fingers or a sponge, if well pales in order to get coverage as transparent as possible. Sometimes, I like to mix the liquid foundation or cream with a moisturizing product for a visual absolutely transparent. To secure the base, brush lightly across the face with loose powder using a large brush.
How do you apply a blush in gel or cream?
Laura: To apply a cream blush ideally using a brush to base. I like to use above the base, or even powder to give the skin a fresh air. And the blush in gel is fantastic: I like to apply it with your fingers on the cheeks. You can use it on the bare skin under the powder blush to do longer or on the base. The effect of these blushes is very different from the powder version which is more matte.
Hiromi: The blush in cream or gel can be applied with the fingers on the cheeks, and dimmed up and sideways to give a natural air Coradinho. These textures allow a more natural result of the powder.
Is there any rule to choose the makeup shades depending on the color of eyes and hair?
Laura: There are no rules. All women instinctively know what the colors that enliven their faces and which give them a sad and tired. However, there are cosmetic shades that enhance eye color: If your are brown or green, use yellow / golden shadows, violet and burgundy; has blue eyes, the golden-yellow and brown shades – red will highlight them. But also like a monochrome look.
Hiromi: Blonde look great with beige-gray or brown mahogany eyes and light pink medium on the lips.
Brunettes with brown or hazel eyes are always well in average soil and brown tones in the eyes and pink-brown or plum lips. For redheads, beige-gray, green-moss and brown are ideal colors in the eye, combined with pink-brown or peach lips. Black and brown with very dark hair are always well with brown or brownish shadows and lipsticks in red-brown tones, plum, pink or peach.
Can I wear red lipstick?
Laura: Repeat after me: all women can wear red lipstick. There is such a variety of tones that is impossible not to find one that you stay well. The texture in this case is as important as the tone. As a rule, the more mature is a woman, more matte should be your red lipstick because it is more sophisticated but also to the color does not escape the wrinkles around the mouth.
Hiromi: A good rule is to choose a red that is a shade darker than the natural color of your lips.
And the liquid eyeliner, as it applies?
Laura: You can apply it in different ways, depending on the effect you want. If you simply want your eyelashes appear more numerous, make a dotted along the line of eyelashes with the brush tip. For a more dramatic look, pull the outside of the eyelid slightly to the side and draw a line with the brush along the top lashes. For a softer effect, opt for a brown eyeliner, burgundy or blue instead of black.
Hiromi: Start by drawing the line at the inner corner of the eyelid. Ideally, it pales slightly towards the outer corner, but this effect requires some practice. I like to stretch a little to line up outside the outer corner of the eye to create a more delicate look.
They say back is almost as good as going on vacation! Um … I do not think. These days were so good and so well done, just the four of us, I could go on like 3 years more! I really like being on vacation mode and unpack give me much less joy than do them, no doubt.
And when on the way back you have to do three stops because of the gut of the oldest and the first washing machine is the lining (all vomited) the seat of the newest, you yourself wish it never left the beach … Anyway, there never hassle, that’s for sure!
While we were in the south, collect beach outings was one of the favorite pastimes of this mother.
This year I feel (and see!) I’m in much better shape, which left me with great disposition time for dressing and undressing especially the looks that much like to use in the summer! I’m almost almost like I want, the babyweight has gone over the last few months loooongos, missing now “only” tone and strengthen. I have to get back to racing, make all the difference in a good mood and in my muscles, but 100 sit-ups a day no one takes me and are doing much difference, I see and feel!
NATURAL CATASTROPHE IS THE SINGLE MOTHERS ONLY HAVE 2 ARMS!
Motherhood has made me a person with trends a little anxious. It’s amazing how suddenly, words such as death, tragedy or disaster start to sound like a huge turmoil in our head. I began to be afraid! (Fear of flying accentuated and after that!) Strange thoughts would rather not have. But the worst thing was going to do some things that make me blush and think of the ridiculous that a person arrives.
When this family became a single parent, it was even worse !!!!
I am that rare bird who does not eat chewing gum or candy if you are alone with them! I dread to stifle … Falling aside and leave them alone at home until someone give for my lack only the next day …
My daughter already know, since age 4, unlock my phone and call the entire family if I ever fails. And you know the number of grandparents and uncles color.
Now they are older, but when they were smaller, did not give them bath at the same time if she was alone at home. I was afraid of having a stroke and drown them, so always saved one! (Psychooooooo !!!!!!)
The things I have more fear, is earthquakes! First, live in a building! I hate the idea of having several floors on top of the head, a few more under his feet! Then live on the seafront! Ie after taking multi-storey head, I’m still the first line to take with the tsunami on. But even worse than that, it is to think that I have to find the strength to take two children out of bed (one of the top floor of a bunk bed) and run into the street with only two arms !!!
This earthquake Saturday night here in Cascais, was a sort of simulacrum … With a simulator that I would rather it had been far less real!
Children in bed. Mother on the sofa. Earth to tremble! House to tremble! The ground noise! The mobile noise! The mother all tremble! There was friendly with Sir muscles to help! There was no SOS prontíssimas backpacks to the natural disaster (that any American has in the closet of the house entry). There was not even a mother in cold blood and ability to reason in a moment of danger!
I learned later that the earthquake lasted 8 seconds. During which I got up from the couch, I went to the window I flew into the hallway of the rooms and petrifiquei. I froze !! Instead of trying to save my children (luckily did not have to !!), I was kind silly cheap to run about myself in the lobby. Trembled so much that seemed to be in hypothermia … What do I do ??? I limited myself to try to contain the tremors to be able to connect to my mother crying and asking what he was doing.
If during the day-to-day look like a octopus, with arms keys, children, bags, backpacks and tantrums, the truth is, the moment of truth, we only have two! And as much as we like it or we would like, there is no way to change it!
The idea of going down the stairs of the building alone with two children in her arms (which together weigh as much as me) is absolutely terrifying. And if I can not grab the two ?? And if I have to drop a ??? What am I off ??? As?? When ?? Because???
Maybe I should change myself to the field !! For a plain! Away from the water and levezinhos ceilings !! Or do any therapy! Type midnight knock on the back to see if I stop being psycho and remember that one day that some tragedy happens, those who need protection are they! Not me!!! Mule !!!
This week I am working diligently on a query for an agent possibly interested in a book about motherhood. And so, it seems to be a great week to bring out an oldy but a goody. This post resonated with so many moms, and I got bombarded with comments both private and public. Ultimately, in a society of mothers, our problems that take place in our families are ours alone. This is a small slice of what takes place in my house and leaves me feeling helpless. Please read and feel free to comment. Have you ever felt a solitary figure in a sea of mothers and advice? I am with you. Read on!
Lately, I am a lonely mother. I know–even in a world with millions of moms and mom-blogs and mom-circles and mom magazines, even though my closest confidants are parents: I am a solitary figure with solitary problems living in a deep dark solitary vacuum. What about those social networks you ask? Well, amongst 143 friends on my Facebook page only 20 of them aren’t parents. (Mostly my former students, others who have made conscious choices NOT to be moms and dads, and one priest.) I suppose I could turn to the remaining 123 friends for parenting companionship and mutual begrudging, but somehow it feels fruitless.
It’s a funk I’m in, and I’m not talking about James Brown and George Clinton. I am talking about one heck of a “woe-is-me-black-cloud-over-my-head” funkadelic funk. I just get tired sometimes. I mean, this mother stuff…it is endless. I once read that women during the Salem Witch Trials would be subjected to something called “pressing” where rocks would be piled on the “witch’s” chest one after the other until they confessed out of sheer panic of being crushed under their weight. I think my funk is due to a sort of emotional “pressing” where issue after issue has piled up crushing my mind. Trying to figure out solutions to all the problems that plague my children in various ways is exhausting. How to help one son find confidence and work to his potential, how to squelch one son’s seemingly endless conceit, how to keep a son with stitches in tip top shape so he is able to keep up with the varsity cross country team that he has been asked to join, how to not throw one son over the South Glens Falls Bridge the next time he sasses…which will probably happen before I finish this next sentence… not to mention the constant refereeing that takes place every time the boys are in the same room together.
I know that every family has its own set of “stuff.” I know I am not alone in that. But is there anyone else out there that just feels beaten every once in awhile from the never ending bag of do-do that seems to be thrown at us mothers constantly and consistently? Take last night for instance…
Aidan was at a party. His curfew is 11:30. But as 11:30 came and went, he didn’t show. I texted him three times only for him to ignore them. I called his phone and the phone of the boy with whom he was supposed to get a ride, all to no avail. So at five after midnight, Aidan’s step-father went to the house to get him. Ten minutes later as they arrived back at the house…all holy hell broke loose. Let me remind you it was 12:15 AM. But no matter. Aidan comes in to the house blustering about how unfair we are and how embarrassed he was. This blustering is done with Aidan’s full voice which of course leads to his little brother waking up and coming out to see what all the fuss is. Once he realizes that his brother is in trouble, he begins to gloat openly. Saying things like, “Mom you won’t be able to trust him anymore!” (Parroting a discussion that I had had earlier with Gannan who is the “great exaggerator.”) He continues, “That is it! Right mom? No more parties for Aidan. That is what you’d do to me.”
Aidan then becomes indignant and much louder at his brother’s goading. I now have to deal with the curfew issue and the fighting issue. I send Gannan back to his room, where he waltzes down the hall singing “He’s in truuuuubbbllle.. He’s in truuuubbbllle” I turn to Aidan who now has slipped out of the kitchen and exits to his bedroom in the finished basement punctuating said move with a fierce slamming of the door. The slamming of the door (OF COURSE) wakes up the baby who begins to wail at the scary noise that jolted her out of her sound sleep. Predictably and understandably, my husband is livid at the commotion caused by my two boys who have now woken up his daughter. A commotion mind you that is still continuing. Gannan is taunting loudly from his bedroom. Aidan is blustering boisterously from his bedroom. Jeff is fuming in the living room. I am trying to sooth a ten month old who clearly would rather have her father– indicated by a stiff back arch that keeps her as far away from me as humanly possible, the finger pointing to the closed door and the incessant “da da, da da, da da,” that is coming from her quivering lips.
Her father, after trying to compose himself, finally comes into the baby’s bedroom. She instantly stops the heavy heaving crying she has been doing with me and…do I dare say it???? Well…she smiles…sigh. I leave daddy and daddy’s girl to go back to the sanctuary of my bedroom-beaten and battered, angry and anxious, resentful and rageful. An hour later (that’s 1:30 AM for those of you keeping a tally on the time) I am still feeling all of these things that come in the form of a mish-mashed rounded heavy ball in the pit of my stomach. If I could categorize the chunks that make up the spherical agony-it would be self-wallowing and jealousy due to the fact that Ila really and truly prefers her dad to me and an absolute fiery fury directed at the boys
who in their need to be contrary and ornery forget that their anger and contentiousness causes chaos and misery to innocent bystanders like a ten month old sleeping baby.
Around 2 AM desperately needing to sleep, I walked to the kitchen for a glass of milk hoping it would bring on the needed zzzzzzz’s. I am incredulous at the quiet. Husband sound asleep on the couch in the living room. Ila tucked away in the corner of her crib. Aidan’s basement teen palace dark and silent. Gannan’s long legs hanging off the side of his bed in sleepy angles. Only me awake with my thoughts, awake with my anger and frustration. A solitary mother bathed in the light of the refrigerator.
When women become mothers, everything changes, everything is in perspective and want to do things, know things, we want ALL. A certain mothers so gives them a sort of Epiphany, it is to see them hooked on the sewing machine before or when one preached button, you see them doing super cakes structured with 325 ingredients, become multitasking-girls 24h / day ever alert. Mothers are powerful, beware of them! When they look at their children, their biggest project unfold in new creative aspects, especially if see we children need extra help to perform either task.
One of these women, who became super-mother, has a child with hearing problems, which forced the child to use a device to your ear to resolve the issue. However, the Mother always wants more and looked for that artifact and found that “it” could not be just a machine, had to be more and not been here with half measures, pulled all his knowledge and developed a decorative kits for cochlear devices that make any child shine among their peers.